The Superhero Impersonation
by notjaneausten
Summary: Sheldon loves his comic-book superheroes, but what if he gets the chance to be a hero himself one day? A series of short scenes where Sheldon comes to the rescue of the damsel in distress. Disclaimer: Own nothing, earn nothing...love everything.
1. Chapter 1

_Maybe you don't know me anymore than I know you_

_And I wouldn't blame you if you walked away_

_I've been watching you all evening with those teardrops in your eyes_

_And it touches me much more than I can say_

Sheldon Lee Cooper had been drumming his fingers on the table top for the past hour, wishing the evening would hurry up and be over when he caught sight of a disturbance happening over by the entrance. He glanced over to see a woman he'd never seen at the University before crying quietly at a corner table as her colleagues gathered around her, presumably offering her comfort.

"What's suddenly caught your attention, Sheldon?" His friend and work colleague, Howard asked as Sheldon's fingers stopped drumming; he followed the direction of Sheldon's gaze and saw that he was staring at a small brunette on the far side of the room.

"Ooh Kripke looks a little worse for wear… I wonder what happened to his nose…" Raj was looking at the other entrance to the hall and saw the physicist enter holding a wad of tissues to his nose which was bleeding profusely.

"Hmm?" Sheldon tore his eyes away from the woman across the room and turned to Raj. "Sorry, what was that?"

"Kripke just came in and his nose was bleeding. He didn't look too happy…Ooh, he's going over to the biology table!" Raj twisted in his chair and watched Kripke lean aggressively over someone sitting in the corner and how she shrank back away from him. Her colleagues had drifted away and she was now alone at the table. "Sheldon? Where are you going?"

"To offer my assistance, that young woman is obviously frightened and she's been left all alone with Kripke, we all know what he's like with women…" Sheldon tossed the remark over his shoulder as he headed across the room. Howard and Raj exchanged a glance, before quickly following after him. They both knew how aggressive Kripke could be when he'd had a few drinks and Sheldon was likely to come off worse in a fist fight.

"Sheldon, just remember that this isn't one of your comic-books and you aren't indestructible!" Howard jogged after his friend and all three men made their way over to the corner table where they saw Kripke leaning forward, with one hand on the back of the young woman's chair with the other holding the tissues against his nose.

"I've already thanked you for your invitation and I thought I made my feelings quite clear outside that my thanks did not extend to inviting you back for 'coffee' which you made quite clear was a euphemism for coitus!"

"Don't be like that, Amy…I can tell when a woman's interested and you seemed plenty interested yesterday afternoon." Kripke leant closer to the woman and ran his finger along her bared forearm.

"I was grateful for the escort, yes…but that was only because I didn't realise what type of man you really were!" The woman, Amy, shrank back in her seat as Kripke leered at her again. "Please, just leave me alone!"

Sheldon overheard the last part of their conversation and leant around Kripke to hold out his hand.

"Amy, so nice to see you again. I believe this is our dance?"

"Cooper!" Kripke whirled around to see who the owner of the proffered hand was and spat out Sheldon's name in disgust. "The lady and I were in the middle of a conversation, if you don't mind."

"Ah, but I do…Amy and I met in the cafeteria the other day and she offered me a dance if the band chose to play her favourite song. I believe I heard the opening strains of…"

"The Way You Look Tonight." Howard murmured in his ear and Sheldon nodded.

"Thank you, Howard."

"No problem, **Sheldon**." Howard emphasised his friends name and tipped his head slightly to the side, Amy's eyes widened in understanding and she reached up to slip her hand into her rescuer's firm grasp.

"Sheldon, how nice of you to remember our passing conversation. I'd be delighted to accept. Barry, I'm sure you'll understand if I don't accept your offer of a ride home; good evening." Amy turned her back on Kripke and went to walk away, only to find his fingers wrapped around the top of her arm and squeezed tightly.

"You're nothing but a tease, Doctor Fowler and you'll be sorry I swear!" Kripke hissed between his teeth and then howled in pain as Sheldon delivered a swift judo chop to his arm. Kripke didn't know what was more painful, his swollen nose or his bruised forearm.

"Kripke, if I find you've uttered one slanderous rumour about Amy, I will see that your works are never published by a reputable journal again! Do we have an understanding?" Sheldon's voice was a low growl and as he towered over Kripke the smaller man seemed to shrink under his icy glare.

"Jeez, some people just can't take a joke." Kripke tried to laugh the whole thing off, but Sheldon was in no laughing mood, especially as he saw the faint bruising left on Amy's tender flesh. He straightened up his spine, raising himself to his impressive full height of six feet one and whisked Amy out onto the dance floor leading her through the steps of the waltz. Kripke, Howard and Raj stared open mouthed at Sheldon's impressive dance moves and when the song ended, he bowed lightly to Amy before walking away; leaving her gaping at his gentlemanly behaviour.

"Wow, Doctor Fowler; I've never seen Doctor Cooper acting so…human before. You must have really made an impression on him." Doctor Benshaw, the head of Biology commented to the newest member of his team as he made his way back to the table.

"I've never met that man before in my life! He saw Doctor Kripke leaning over in an aggressive manner and came up with the elaborate ruse to get me away from him. You say his name is Cooper?" Amy sighed a little over the way the stranger had come to her rescue and Doctor Benshaw hid a smile at the thought of the enigmatic Cooper being the source of any woman's fantasies.

"Yes, Sheldon Cooper is a doctor over in the theoretical physics department, he hangs around with a couple of other equally strange misfits." Doctor Benshaw gazed around the room until he spotted the men in question. "There's Rajesh Koothrappali, the astrophysicist originally from India; next to him is Howard Wolowitz; he's an engineer working on a design for a telescope for use on the International Space Station and finally the smaller guy in glasses is Sheldon's roommate and fellow physicist, Leonard Hofstadter."

"Why do you call them 'misfits'?" Amy puzzled over his strange turn of phrase and her boss chuckled as he patted her on the shoulder.

"You'll see soon enough, my dear. Now, may I offer you a ride home? I assume that you arrived with Kripke…"

"Thank you, that would be most appreciated." Amy smiled at the offer and Doctor Benshaw patted her shoulder again.

"Not at all, my dear wife would be appalled if she thought that I'd left a young lady in such dire straits. I live over in Glendale myself so it's no trouble at all." Doctor Benshaw offered his arm and Amy placed her hand in the crook of his elbow as made their way around the tables and out into the hallway. Amy couldn't help her eyes drifting over the crowded ballroom, scanning the room for signs of her hero and Doctor Benshaw chuckled at her roving eyes.

"No point looking for Cooper, Amy; he makes a point of only staying until the free bar opens and then he makes a swift exit. He's always hated these things and only comes when Siebert forces his hand, he'll no doubt be making his way home by now."

"Oh…" Amy's tone held a note of disappointment and Doctor Benshaw chuckled again as he held open the exit doors leading to the main parking lot.

"If you want to thank him, I hear he has a particularly sweet tooth…" He hinted strongly and Amy made a mental note to bake a huge batch of cookies as a thank you gift. "Come along, my car's just over this way."

**AN: If anyone's interested the song lyrics are taken from 'Rest Your Love On Me' by Andy Gibb**


	2. Chapter 2

_Saw you in the corner from the moment I walked in_

_Saw your lonely face across the room_

_No I won't forget you and the way it might have been_

_Why'd you have to leave so soon?_

Amy wandered around the halls of the University, hopelessly lost a few days after the mixer. She was trying to locate the personnel section as she had some emergency contact paperwork to hand in for the team. "Doctor Benshaw said to follow the signs for the engineering labs and that personnel was just around to the left…"

"I think he meant to say right, rather than left." A quiet drawl from behind had Amy whirling around, papers flying through the air to land at her feet. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Oh, it's you!" Amy knelt down to gather the fallen papers and the owner of the drawl knelt down to assist her. It was Sheldon who had spotted her wandering around aimlessly from the open doorway of his office. "I'm glad I ran into you actually, I wanted to say thank you again for helping me out with the Kripke situation the other night, but you left before I could find you again. I was thinking of baking you a batch of cookies to say thanks but I didn't know if you had any food allergies and didn't want to inadvertently poison you."

Sheldon let out a breathy chuckle as he handed over several of the loose papers. "No, I don't have any food allergies that I am aware of; but no thanks are necessary." Sheldon picked up a few more pages and held them out for Amy to take. "I simply did what any southern raised gentleman was raised to do."

"It was a nice thing to do and I enjoyed the dance very much as well." Amy blushed a little in remembrance and Sheldon gave her a shy smile.

"I haven't danced like that since my Mama forced me to accompany my sister to her dance lessons, back home in Texas. We learnt how to rhumba, cha cha and waltz but that's the first time I ever put them in practise."

"Well you couldn't tell, you were very good."

"May I walk you to Personnel? And perhaps escort you to the cafeteria for a spot of luncheon?" Sheldon offered quietly, not wanting to end their conversation too soon. Amy checked her watch and gave him a brief nod.

"That sounds lovely, I haven't eaten in the cafeteria as yet as I've been bringing in lunch from home."

"You're in for a treat, they're serving lasagne today."

"Sounds lovely, I usually just have a salad as I'm trying to watch my weight; but maybe I can relax my rules a little just for one day." Amy grinned ruefully as she glanced down at her curvy hips and Sheldon muttered something under his breath that sounded something like she was perfect already.

"How are you finding things with Cal-Tech? Is it very much different from where you were from before?" Sheldon steered Amy in the direction of the cafeteria after dropping of the paperwork with Personnel.

"Um, whereas Cal-Tech leads from the front with the Physics and engineering programmes, UCLA does the same for human studies…or at least my department does anyway."

"Urgh, lots of yucky squishy things instead." Sheldon shuddered at the thought and Amy smiled widely at him.

"Yes, we do have a reputation for being one of the leaders of biological studies, and our medical programmes are first rate."

"Are you here for very long?" Sheldon held open the door to the cafeteria and waved Amy in front of him.

"A year, perhaps two; it depends on how things progress. We do have funding available from a private investor that will see us safely through, but you never can tell how these things will go when you're working with small primates." Amy scanned the cafeteria looking for an empty table and once again, Sheldon placed his hand on her arm, gently steering her to a table in the centre of the room.

"I thought you might like to meet a few people while we eat."

"Oh, okay." Amy had been hoping for a quiet lunch where the two of them could get to know each other a little better, but it seemed Sheldon had other ideas. He walked her over to the table and cleared his throat to attract the attention of the occupants.

"Gentlemen, may I introduce the latest member of staff at Cal-Tech? This is my new friend, Dr. Amy Fowler and she's just transferred over from UCLA to work on a study with primates."

"Nice to meet you, Amy. I'm Leonard and I work with experimental physics." Leonard laid aside his napkin and offered his hand in greeting. "I also room with Sheldon over on Los Robles."

"Hi, I'm Howard Wolowitz and it's a pleasure to meet you again." Howard stepped forward and pumped Amy's hand enthusiastically. "I never thought I'd meet someone that could bust a guy's nose with one little tap."

"Oh, the night of the mixer! You were the one that prompted me with Sheldon's name."

"Yup, that was me alright. So, how'd you manage to run into Sheldon again? Isn't the biology lab clear over the other side of the campus?"

"I had some paperwork to drop off with Personnel and got a little lost. Once again, Sheldon came to my rescue." Sheldon's cheeks flushed at the compliment and he turned his attention to the serving line.

"I'll go and pick us up a couple of plates, did you still want the lasagne Amy?"

"I'm going up for dessert, I'll get them for you." Leonard offered and Sheldon smiled as he sat back down at the table.

"Two portions of lasagne please, one with curly fries and the other with salad."

"Oh, and please make sure there's no avocado in the salad!" Leonard continued to walk away, and Amy fretted over whether he had heard her last remark. "I'm terribly allergic to avocado, I hope he heard me."

"He probably did, the cafeteria isn't too loud today. If it were Sheldon, he'd definitely hear you as he has a keen sense of hearing…we call it one of his Vulcan traits." Raj chimed in, and Howard looked at him with some amazement.

"Raj, you're actually talking in front of a girl! How on Earth did you manage that?" Raj just shrugged his shoulders and carried on eating his salad. Amy pushed her purple framed glasses further up the bridge of her nose and smiled faintly.

"It's probably because Raj doesn't see me as a potential mate, and therefore feels comfortable in my presence, reassured by the fact that I am not a threat to his vulnerable masculinity."

"Yeah, what she said." Raj waved his fork across the table at Amy and Howard nodded as if he really understood what Amy had just said. Sheldon just grinned and picked up a handful of napkins from the dispenser, passing some across to Amy and keeping five for himself. Leonard came back over then and set two heaped trays on the table, he slid one of the loaded plates in front of Amy and the other for Sheldon. Amy's plate had a large serving of salad on one half, with a portion of steaming lasagne taking over the other side. On Sheldon's plate there was lasagne too, but he had opted for curly fries instead of salad.

"Ooh, this looks yummy!" Amy grinned as she picked up her knife and fork and prepared to start eating. Sheldon grinned at her as he popped a fry in his mouth, and gestured over with his fork.

"Eat up, little lady; there's chocolate pudding for dessert!" He chewed happily and then surprised everyone by suddenly leaning over the table to snatch Amy's fork out of her hand as it was about to enter her mouth.

"Sheldon, what on Earth?" Amy gaped at him as he studied the fork carefully.

"Avocado…Amy's salad is full of little cubes of chopped avocado." Sheldon started poking through her salad and looked up at Amy sorrowfully. "Sorry, but there's too much of it to pick out."

"That's okay, I guess I'll just have to do without. I can't risk eating the lasagne just in case a stray piece of avocado has touched the side."

"You don't have to, here…" Sheldon astonished everyone by swapping their plates over, it was unheard of for Sheldon to share his food and yet here he was giving up his own meal to someone he had just met. "You have mine and I'll eat yours; guess you'll just have to have fries instead."

"She could have died…" Howard spoke softly, "You saved her from anaphylactic shock, Sheldon…remember when I ate those peanuts by mistake and Leonard had to rush me to the ER? That's what could have happened to Amy if she had eaten just one bite of that avocado."

"You're a real hero, Sheldon." Raj was a little tearful at the thought. "Our Sheldon is a bone fide Superhero."

"Stop…" Sheldon drawled out, his cheeks ruddy from the unexpected praise and he bent his head to the offending salad, trying to ignore the applause from everyone at the table.

"Thank you, Sheldon." Amy whispered from behind her napkin, and her hand slipped between them to lightly squeeze his knee. To his surprise, Sheldon didn't feel at all uncomfortable at her light touch and gave her a lopsided smile as he bent over his plate, hiding his pleased expression as to avoid any pesky comments.


	3. Chapter 3

_You know I hate to think that someone _

_Could have hurt someone like you_

_And at times like these I'd be right by your side_

"Yes, I received a copy of the paperwork this morning." Sheldon hesitated outside of Amy's lab, with his hand poised in the 'knock' position. He could hear Amy speaking on the telephone and thought it would be rude to interrupt her conversation; he glanced down at his wristwatch; three minutes until they were due to meet for their lunch date. It had become a regular occurrence in the weeks since they had met outside of personnel; every Wednesday and Friday Sheldon would walk over to the Biology building to escort Amy over to the cafeteria for lunch. Today he had finished his meeting with Gablehauser a little earlier than expected and rather than going back to his office, decided to go straight over to see Amy. He settled down on the bench outside of the lab and waited for Amy to finish her call.

"Uh-huh, yes…Oh, I see…Is that completely necessary? Ah, yes…well…um…I'd have to think about it before giving you my final answer." Sheldon sat up straighter on the bench, his curiosity piqued at Amy's sombre tone. "And I assume that you've checked and there are no other loopholes or workaround's to the contract? Okay, I'll get back to you in a few days. Thank you for your time." Amy set the receiver back in the cradle softly and then slammed the drawer to her filing cabinet shut with a string of muttered curses. "Stupid friggin' lawyers, can't even work their way out of a paper bag!"

"Knock, knock, knock…Amy." Sheldon rapped on the doorframe and poked his head warily around the door. "Is it safe to enter? You sound pretty irate for a Friday lunchtime."

"Sorry, Sheldon…I'm just having a major issue with a potential investor for my addiction study and I've hit a pretty large roadblock. I may be moving back to UCLA sooner than expected, if I can't manage to work something out." Amy smiled apologetically over at Sheldon and slumped down on her desk chair. "Let's just go to lunch and I promise to be in a better frame of mind."

"Nonsense," Sheldon waved his hand around in dismissal and sat himself down on one of the spare chairs placing his messenger bag on the floor of Amy's lab. "You know you won't be able to fully enjoy lunch if you're all het up. Sit yourself down and tell me what's bothering you; maybe I can help."

"Unless you're got yourself a fancy law degree as well as two Phd's I don't think you can, but it's sweet of you to offer." Amy patted Sheldon's hand affectionately and glanced around her shiny new office. "I was just getting to like it here, oh well…back to teasing the pleasure cells of a starfish, I guess."

"Now hold on a minute…I may not have degree in law, but I have written more than a few roommate contracts in my time and I do have a notary stamp. Give it a shot." Sheldon folded his arms across his chest and raised his eyebrow as he challenged Amy. She sighed heavily before retrieving a heavy set of papers out of her purse and threw them down in front of Sheldon.

"There…knock yourself out." Sheldon picked up the official looking document and saw the raised seal of Riyadh stamped on the cover. He scanned through the first page and his eyes widened as he saw what was being offered.

"Two photon microscope…two million dollars a year…your entire salary for the duration of the project…Wow, that's a good investment; who's the actual sponsor?"

"Faisal El Fahil, his father is the Prince of a small country near Saudi Arabia; he's next in line to the throne." Amy tapped the photograph attached to the back of the contract and Sheldon hummed under his breath. "Keep reading, you haven't even got to the good part yet."

"Hmm…accommodation should you ever visit the palace…ooh, an apartment in Riyadh…"

"Go on…turn to page seven, it's a real hoot." Amy's bare fingernail tapped the page in question and Sheldon obediently flipped the pages, his brow wrinkling in confusion as he scanned the legalese.

"I don't understand…can they really do that?"

"Apparently so…I've had every lawyer in the legal department working on it since it was delivered; they can't find anything illegal or immoral with it."

"So you either agree to the terms or it's bye bye Cal-Tech."

"Hello UCLA, yup that's it in a nutshell." Amy sighed heavily and looked up at the clock. "Would you mind if we didn't have lunch together after all? I think I'm take the rest of the afternoon off to really think this through; it could be a fantastic opportunity career wise."

"Yes, but at what personal cost?" Sheldon hated seeing his new friend look so tormented and decided he would try to help. "Let me read through the whole thing again and see if I can pick up something that the others have missed. Why don't you come over for pizza tonight and we can talk then?"

"Sure, what have I got to lose?" Amy muttered half sarcastically and Sheldon grinned as he patted her shoulder, completely oblivious as usual.

"That's the spirit!" He rose to his feet and slipped the bulky contract in his messenger bag. "We usually order around seven thirty, come by around six and we'll talk before dinner."

"Okay." Amy nodded and just as Sheldon was about to head off, stopped him with a hand on his arm. "I just realised that I don't have your address or phone number."

"Oh, it's 2311 Los Robles Avenue, apartment 4A. Hand me your cell and I'll put my number's in for you." Sheldon held out his hand and Amy passed her phone across. "Okay, here's my landline and my cell…oh, I'd better add my e-mail as well just in case. There, all done. See you at six."

"Yeah, see you." Amy waved goodbye and watched Sheldon walked back to the physics building before gathering her belongings and switching everything off in the lab. She sent a quick message to Doctor Benshaw, explaining that she had taken the afternoon off to think things through and he replied that he would support any decision that she made. "Yeah, it's alright for you…it's not like you're being asked to sacrifice the best years of your life just because of some stupid custom that probably dates back to the stone age…Urgh!" Amy twisted the lock of her lab and angrily made her way down the corridor, the look on her face told everyone she met that she was in no mood to exchange idle conversation and even Siebert steered clear when he saw her approaching the car park, bending down to tie his shoelace so that he could pretend he hadn't seen her; and heaving a sigh of relief when Amy got into her car without saying a single word.

_Lay your troubles on my shoulder_

_Put your worries in my pocket_

_Rest your love on me a while_

Sheldon muttered crossly as he flipped through a copy of Amy's grant proposal and then laid it aside to pick up the contract from Saudi. Leonard heard the mutterings and glanced up from the TV with an enquiring look. "Buddy, aren't you gonna play Zelda with us tonight? It was your choice after all."

"Can't…in the zone…" Sheldon replied, his eyes roving line after line of the document searching for something that would help Amy. "Besides, Amy's coming over shortly to discuss this mess that Siebert's landed her in…If we can't figure a way out of it, she's going to have to go back to UCLA and quit the addiction study."

"What mess?" Leonard paused the game, ignoring the protests coming from Raj and Howard, and moved to sit next to Sheldon on the couch, peering over his shoulder to scan the contract. "Huh? What on earth…?"

"Exactly, preposterous isn't it? Basically, as Amy is a single unwed female and doesn't agree to enter into a marriage contract with this Saudi Prince they will scrap the whole project; that means Amy's whole team will be shunted back to UCLA and the University loses the backing of Riyadh completely."

"That's a little harsh." Raj frowned, "Couldn't our legal eagles find a loophole or anything to get her out of the marriage part but still keep the money?"

"So far, no…which is why I said I'd take a look at the contract to see if I can spot anything."

"And?" Howard leant forward in the armchair, having lost interest in playing Zelda in favour of the drama being played out right in front of him. Sheldon shook his head as he threw the contract onto the coffee table.

"It's iron clad, no holes at all; even I was impressed with the thing and that's saying something."

"Yeah, we all know how fond you are of skewing contracts in your favour." Leonard muttered, as he picked up the document to skim through the leafy tome. Sheldon got up as there was a hesitant tap at the door, and he pulled it open to find a weary looking Amy standing in the hallway.

"Come on in and take a seat."

"Any luck?" Amy asked hopefully, and felt her world crumble around her when Sheldon patted her shoulder comfortingly as he shook his head.

"Afraid not, kiddo…It's either marriage to a foreign prince or back to poking starfish with a sensor."

"Maybe not…" Leonard stated slowly as he frowned over one of the sections in the lengthy contract. "It doesn't say that you actually have to marry the guy, just agree to enter into an engagement that will last as long as the project is running."

"Yes, but have you seen the addendum that lists what I can or can't do during this 'engagement'?" Amy started pacing the living room as she ticked the items off on her fingers. "I must not be seen alone in public with an unmarried man, I have to agree to fly out to Riyadh at a moment's notice whenever my 'fiancé' has to make a public appearance, then there's the official photographers, security detail, phone tapping, all of my friends and work colleagues have to be interviewed and pass security clearance…I'm thirty one years old and this is potentially a five to seven year project; what if I meet someone and want to get married, maybe start a family? How can I tell them that they're gonna have to wait until we're nearly forty before we can even talk about getting engaged; I may as well enter a convent right now and get it over with."

"What if you weren't unattached?" Howard suddenly blurted out, and everyone turned around in surprise. "Does the contract say anything about giving the money if you were already engaged or married?"

"Nope…I guess they already knew that Amy was single." Leonard flipped through the document again and set it down on the coffee table.

"Yes, we all had to fill in some paperwork a few months ago when we applied for the funding; the usual things, marital status, gender...that type of thing." Amy perched on a stool at the kitchen counter and leant her chin on her upraised hand. "It's been great getting to know you all, feel free to pop over to UCLA and see me sometime."

"You said you filled in the paperwork months ago." Raj repeated slowly, and Amy nodded. "A lot can happen in a couple of months…Just think, you only met us last month and now we're sharing dinner and lunches in the cafeteria...what if you told them that you'd met someone recently and were now engaged?"

"That wouldn't work; everyone had to supply either a copy of their marriage certificate or application for a marriage licence…we even had a couple of the girls on the team bringing their weddings forward so that they could continue on the project." Amy sank lower on the stool and Sheldon got up to heat the kettle.

"Meemaw always told me to offer a soothing beverage to those in distress." He offered Amy a choice of flavoured teabags from the caddy on the counter and she poked around the various bags searching for something that appealed.

"You need a box with little compartments to help keep the flavours separated." She murmured as she plucked a lemon bag out of the caddy, and Sheldon tapped his finger against his cheek as he pondered her suggestion.

"I've been thinking the same thing myself lately; it would save time when searching for a favourite blend."

"And you'd know exactly which ones would need replenishing." Amy added and glanced over her shoulder when Raj suddenly leapt to his feet and ran over to join them.

"I've just thought of a way to get your funding without giving you up as a virgin sacrifice!"

"I'm listening." Amy swivelled on the stool to face the enthusiastic physicist who just stood their grinning as he glanced from Amy to Sheldon and then raised his eyebrows at Howard.

"You see it, don't you?"

"Yeah, abso-friggin-lutely!"

"See what?" Amy frowned in confusion, an expression mirrored by Sheldon as he handed her a yellow mug of lemon tea; and then he had a horrible feeling he knew exactly what his well-meaning friends were about to suggest.

"Don't even think about sayin' what I think you're about to say…" His accent thickened slightly as his irritation began to seep through. "It's a completely crazy idea and no one would ever believe it."

"Come on Sheldon, you don't want Amy to go back to UCLA any more than she does…It's an utterly brilliant plan and can't fail."

"Absolutely not…It will be like that awful 'Green Card' film all over again." Sheldon shuddered and Raj laughed, patting his hand as it rested on the counter.

"But you're so much alike, it's like there's two of you already."

"I'm a little confused here." Amy glanced around the room and started worrying her bottom lip. "Why do I feel like I'm the only person that doesn't know what's going on?" Leonard rose from the couch and walked over to join the small group at the kitchen counter, patting Amy's arm as he took the stool next to her.

"I wish I could say something to help you out, but I'm in the same boat as you…I haven't got a clue either, so welcome to my world."

"Leonard…how can you not see what I'm seeing?" Howard huffed impatiently, "Just take a look at the two of them for Pete's sake, they're like twins!" He jerked his finger in Sheldon's direction and Raj did the same for Amy, and finally the penny dropped.

"Oh my gawd…it's uncanny." Leonard looked at the way Sheldon was sipping his tea, feet neatly hooked over the bar of the stool and his free hand gently draped over his knee. He then glanced over to Amy and she had mirrored Sheldon's pose almost perfectly. "You really think it would work?"

"Not you as well! Leonard, get the idea out of your head this instant…ya hear me?" Sheldon slammed his mug down so hard on the counter that the hot tea threatened to slop over the side of the mug. "I'd do pretty much anything to assist Amy, but that something I just can't do."

"I'd do it, but we'd probably end up killing each other after a few weeks; plus there's Ma as well." Howard chimed in suddenly and Sheldon growled quietly under his breath.

"As if Amy would even consider you…"

"In India I'm considered a good catch, my parents are reasonably wealthy and I have my own apartment." Raj stepped forward to volunteer but changed his mind when Sheldon shot him an icy glare. "But they would probably cut me off without a penny if I don't bring home a nice Indian girl from a suitable family."

"Are you guys for real?" Amy finally realised what was going on and started chuckling. "I appreciate the effort boys, but I'm expecting anyone to sacrifice themselves for me. I'm not exactly a prime catch and I don't expect you all to draw straws to see who gets the 'honour', so to speak."

"Hey, don't sell yourself short, Amy." Leonard said as he tapped her shoulder to gain her attention. "You're smart and funny, any man would be grateful to have you as their partner."

"Thanks, Leonard; that means a lot." Amy smiled as she leant into Leonard's gentle touch and he cleared his throat.

"So...Um…"

"So nothing, short stuff!" Sheldon huffed under his breath as he nudged Leonard aside so that he could move next to Amy, and so missed Leonard's sly wink at Raj. "The sacrifices one makes for the sake of science…" Sheldon murmured to himself as he thought briefly of his mother, hoping she would forgive him for what he was about to say. "I'll do it."

"Do what?" Amy frowned up at him, wondering why the guys were looking suddenly gleeful.

"I'll marry you so that you can get the grant."


	4. Chapter 4

_You know I hate to think there's someone_

_You loved instead of me_

_And at times like these I'd be right by your side_

_Lay your troubles on my shoulder_

_Put your troubles in my pocket_

_Rest your love on me a while_

"Oh my gosh…you're really serious about this aren't you?" Amy felt her knees turn to jelly and she quickly slid onto the nearest seat, which happened to be a kitchen stool right next to Sheldon. "I can't let you give up your life for me Sheldon…there would be security interviews that we'd have to both go through, background checks…I'd have to move in here or you'd have to move in with me." Amy's words tumbled out one after the other and she started to feel a little dizzy. Sheldon immediately pressed a gentle hand to the back of her neck and tipped her head forward so that it rested between her knees as he passed her a paper bag.

"Here…breathe into this nice and slowly, you're hyperventilating and need to calm yourself down before you pass out." Amy nodded as she held the bag over her mouth and started taking deep breaths. "That's it, good girl." Sheldon rubbed his hand in soothing circles along the top of Amy's shoulders and kept his tone calm and smooth as he murmured softly into her ear. "Keep doing exactly what you're doing, you'll feel better in a minute."

"How about I put the kettle on for a soothing beverage? We never did get around to having that cup of tea you offered earlier." Leonard suggested softly and moved around the counter to refill the kettle and set it on to heat. "Sheldon, why don't you take Amy over to the couch and get comfortable? I'll bring the drinks over in a minute." Sheldon nodded briefly as he wrapped one lean arm around Amy's waist and helped her over to the couch, settling her down on the middle cushion. She placed the paper bag on the coffee table and rested her hands on her knees as she composed herself. Once Leonard had brought the tray of drinks into the living room and they were all settled, she glanced over at the guys and gave them all a warm smile.

"Thank you all so much for what you've offered to do for me tonight, but I'm going to have to say no." Amy held up her hand to prevent anyone else from butting in and Sheldon immediately closed his mouth with a firm click. "I appreciate it, I really do; but I can't ask any one of you to sacrifice your freedom just so that I can continue working at Cal-Tech, it wouldn't be fair."

"Now hold on a minute, little lady." Sheldon interrupted and swivelled around in his spot. "It was my decision to ask you to marry me…how do you know I wasn't planning on asking you anyway?"

"Huh?" Raj's mouth fell open in surprise and Howard just snorted loudly, causing Sheldon to give them both a steely eyed glare of disapproval.

"Leonard, if you would be so kind as to pass me my iPad?" Sheldon gestured over to the far end of the coffee table and Leonard leant over to pick up the tablet, handing it over to his roommate with a faint grin. "Now, let me see…" Sheldon scrolled through his documents and tapped on what looked like a timeline; tilting the screen so that only Amy could see the contents.

"Hmm…four years? That was pretty hopeful of you wasn't it?" Amy tapped the screen and enlarged a particular section, her cheeks flushing when she read the contents. Sheldon took back the tablet and closed down the application, his own cheeks a little ruddier than usual.

"I had to allow for a couple of minor skirmishes and a few resets along the way, but yes, I was fairly confident that four years was a fairly reasonable estimate."

"And how long have you been working on that particular erm…theory?" Amy floundered a little before she settled on a word they would both feel comfortable using. Sheldon tilted his head slightly to the side as he pondered the question before answering in a clear tone.

"Since the day we bumped into each other outside of personnel…but I'd been thinking about the possibilities ever since I saw the blood pouring out of Kripke's nose; you reminded me so much of my favourite catwoman."

"Oooh, Michelle Pfeiffer?" Raj raised his hand gleefully and Sheldon snorted.

"As if…No, Julie Newmar of course. I could just see you dressed up in that cat suit – your brunette waves spilling onto your shoulders and eyes that sparkle with humour, making them seem like rare emeralds just plucked from the earth." Sheldon coughed a little to clear his suddenly husky voice and placed his iPad back on the coffee table, well aware of the four sets of eyes that were suddenly looking at him in a completely different light. "So…"

"So…I'd like to think about it for a few days before I make any decisions. It's a big step for both of us and we'd need to be very certain that it's the right move to make."

"I couldn't be more certain." Sheldon said quietly, looking completely relaxed as he settled back with his mug of tea. "I have been wooing you for weeks now, and am just amazed that none of you picked up on it before now."

"Wooing?" Howard chuckled, "Who on earth says 'wooing' anymore? What the heck does it mean anyway?"

"To woo; seek affection, favour or the love of, especially with a view toward marriage." Sheldon quoted softly, glancing over shyly at Amy who gave him a faint glimmer of a smile in return. "I've taken Amy to lunch twice a week since we met again at the University, we've had pizza night and Chinese food here every week…it may have been subtle but I was definitely wooing her."

"So what was all that whispering about four years over there just now?" Howard asked, setting his empty mug back on the tray. "You showed Amy some chart on your iPad and you got all flustered."

"That was just a progress chart of how I envisaged our relationship progressing, this whole grant thing has just accelerated a few things that's all."

"And skipped a few milestones along the way." Amy muttered in quiet amusement and Sheldon shrugged.

"We'd have got there eventually, I'm certain of it."

"Oh, you were that certain of me were you Dr. Cooper?" Amy raised her eyebrow haughtily at Sheldon and he gave her a slight smirk in response.

"You were going to track me down and bake me cookies after I rescued you from Kripke…and you squeezed my knee under the table in the cafeteria. I'd say I was fairly hopeful that it wasn't going to be a completely one sided romance."

"Okay then." Amy rose to her feet and jerked her head toward the hallway. "If you will excuse us for a second, Sheldon and I need a moment to discuss something in private." Sheldon received the hint loud and clear and got up from the couch to follow Amy into the hallway, as soon as they turned the corner and were out of sight from the others, Amy leant back against the wall and crooked her finger at Sheldon. "Kiss me."

"What?" Sheldon croaked out, swallowing hard at the lump of panic that suddenly appeared at the back of his throat.

"You've spent a lot of time thinking about the future, planning out every detail….kiss me and I'll see whether I am prepared to put up with you for the next thirty years or so."

"You might have to put up with me for a lot longer than that…Cooper men tend to live well into their nineties if we stay away from fast moving trucks or substance abuse." Sheldon moved a step closer to Amy and raised his hands a little before placing them carefully on her hips. He leant in a little and watched Amy's eyelids flutter closed, a small smile graced his mouth as he bent his head with the intent of placing a delicate kiss against her lips. It was a completely different matter when their mouths finally made contact though…Sheldon hummed against her mouth as he tasted the lingering taste of the chamomile tea on her soft lips and his tongue darted out to see if he could swipe the last traces of the honey that sweetened the tea as well. Amy gasped quietly as she felt almost overwhelmed by the sensation and Sheldon took advantage of the slight parting of her lips to see if she tasted just as good on the inside. His tongue swept in confidently and explored the ridges of her teeth and the bumps in the roof of her mouth, sliding and rubbing along her own tongue as he coaxed it into play.

Breaking away to gulp down some much needed air, Amy glanced down and was amazed to see that she had hooked her leg around Sheldon's knee and her skirt was rucked up between them like a belt. One of Sheldon's hands remained in the safe position at her waist but the other had crept up and was now definitely inside her blouse firmly cupping her ample breast.

"Um…so…that was a promising start." Amy stuttered and Sheldon slowly opened his eyes revealing their almost navy colour, far different from his usual azure gaze. He glanced down and almost stumbled back when he realised where his hand was.

"Oh dear…" He quickly removed his hand, and Amy felt almost chilled with the removal. She smiled softly at him and clasped his hand lightly in her own.

"It's okay Sheldon…that's three milestones you can cross off your chart." Sheldon's eyes widened at the thought and he nodded, choosing to remain silent in case he inadvertently revealed the thoughts that were racing through his mind; '_Come into my room and we'll zip through the others in no time.' _ Amy must have been a mind reader because her face flushed scarlet and she dropped Sheldon's hand and started fussing with her clothes, tucking her blouse back into her waistband and smoothing down the wrinkles in her skirt. Once she was satisfied that she was looking presentable again, Amy led the way back into the living room and took a seat on the couch as if she had just popped into the bathroom for a few minutes rather than being ravaged up against the wall. Sheldon strolled in behind her and the guys immediately knew that something racy had happened, as both of them had puffy lips and Sheldon was wearing a very pleased expression as he picked up his iPad and made a few adjustments to his timeline. Amy leant over his shoulder and pointed out some area that he had forgotten.

"Don't forget to cross that one off…that was a definite success."

"Hmm…was that two or three?" Sheldon asked with a frown and Amy giggled lightly as she took over control of the tablet.

"Two! Three is a little more advanced than that and not something I'd do with your friends in the living room." Amy muttered her response a little under her breath knowing that Sheldon would still be able to hear her comment, unfortunately for her Leonard could also hear and he swivelled in his seat to gape in amazement. Sheldon caught his look and narrowed his eyes in warning as he gave a subtle jerk toward Howard and Raj, Leonard nodded briefly and knew that this was something that Sheldon would definitely not want the other two finding out about before he was ready.

"So guys, who's up for a late night movie?" Leonard got up and clapped his hands together. "My treat." At those golden words, Howard and Raj lept up and were headed for the door, shouting out their farewells over their shoulder. Before he left Leonard bent down to whisper something in Sheldon's ear and the other man huffed in disapproval.

"I really don't think so, Leonard…but thank you for the offer." Leonard grinned at Amy and gave her a wink before he followed Howard and Raj out of the door, and Amy turned around to ask what Leonard had murmured in his ear.

"He said now that we'd found second base we should skip third and head for home plate. The nerve of the man…" Sheldon shook his head and glanced over to see a slight smirk appear on Amy's face. "Amy!"

"You were thinking it earlier in the hallway!"

"That was in the heat of the moment…I've regained a little sense now, and…Amy!" Sheldon found himself with a lapful of giggling brunette as Amy started plastering his chin with soft pecking kisses. Although he protested, Sheldon obligingly lowered his head so that she could reach his cheeks. "You said you needed to think things through a little…Mmm, that's nice…" Sheldon murmured in a gravelly voice as Amy ran her hands lightly through his hair and scratched lightly on his scalp with her fingernails.

"You're like a bar of chocolate being offered to someone on a diet…one bite and they've forgotten everything about losing that last ten pounds. One kiss from you and I think I'm addicted." Amy murmured between pressing moist kisses everywhere she could reach and Sheldon grinned up at her.

"Addicted enough to want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

"Getting there…I might need a little more persuading before I make my final decision." Amy ran her finger along Sheldon's firm lips and felt him nibble lightly on her fingertip before laying a gentle kiss on the end.

"I wouldn't want to unduly influence your decision." Sheldon lifted Amy easily over his lap to settle her at his side once more. "I've seen what a bad marriage can do to a family and I have no intention of entering into a marriage blinded by lust. I want to spend the rest of my life raising a family with you Amy, so I need you to think hard over whether this is the right decision for you. I don't take marriage lightly and I only intend on doing it the once."

"You want to raise a family with me?" Amy breathed out, feeling the sting of tears prickle behind her eyelids.

"Good Lord woman, didn't you read anything beyond the first few milestones? It's clearly marked in the section after the marriage takes place, conception of first child within six months of the ceremony with negotiations for the others once a reasonable time has passed."

"Others? You'd like more than one? Oh dear…I feel a little lightheaded…" Amy groaned and sank her head between her knees as Sheldon gently rubbed her neck.

"It's not a deal breaker…if you feel that strongly about not wanting a child, I guess I could adjust the plan." Sheldon murmured softly as he continued to lightly massage Amy's neck and looked up just as the door opened to reveal Penny stepping in on the search for Leonard.

"Amy? Sweetie, is everything alright?"

"Having a heart attack…can't talk…" Amy groaned lightly and kept her head down as Penny glanced worriedly at Sheldon.

"Leonard's gone to the movies with Howard and Raj; they probably won't be back until late. Amy's having a bit of a work crisis and we're trying to come up with a solution so that she gets to keep her grant money and stay at Cal-Tech."

"Ah…what's the solution?" Penny asked as she curled her legs up on the armchair.

"I marry Amy, she moves in here and we have a baby nine months after the honeymoon." Amy wheezed again and Sheldon patted her back comfortingly. "That's what she said the first time…Penny? Penny!" Sheldon glanced over to see Penny had passed out in the armchair as soon as he spilt the beans and the sudden weight against his side revealed that Amy was now out cold as well…Sheldon carefully manoeuvred Amy's legs up onto the couch, settling her head in his own spot and then gently removed Penny from the chair to place her at the other end of the couch. He fetched a pair of clean washcloths from the closet and dampened them both in a little cool water, placing one on Penny's forehead and the other on Amy's. He settled down to keep a watchful vigil over the unconscious pair, curling himself up on the floor just by Amy's head so that he could catch her should she flail about in the night and roll of the edge. Both ladies seemed to be snoozing quiet comfortably, one of Amy's arms lolling off the side of the couch to flop against Sheldon's shoulder. He reached up a hand to put it back in place, but instead fell asleep with her arm wrapped around his neck.


End file.
